Emotion Writing - Show don't tell

In Room Seven we thought of words that described the emotion nervous. We then turned the word into an interesting sentence. 

LI: Make a boring word into an interesting sentence

SC 

- complete sentences

- paints a picture 

- Very descriptive

Examples

• I have butterflies in my stomach that makes me want to throw up.  
• Butterflies fluttering in my stomach 
• Butterflies are traveling throughout my stomach 
• Butterflies are wiggling around my stomach trying to escape 
• Butterflies are gliding down my stomach like a waterfal

We then used these sentences to create a show don’t tell piece 

SC - Include the setting 

- Include descriptive sentences from yesterday 

- Different sentence beginnings 

- About 6 sentences

Here are some of our completed pieces. 

Sophiya 

I walk onstage to my starting position behind the curtain. I hear the crowd cheering loudly. My skin catches a pink tinge and my heart is pounding heavily. Butterflies are falling to the bottom of my stomach making my legs shake as if they are about to explode. Smoke from the edges from the stage was making my eyes watery. I am filled with fear that the audience wont like our performance.

Lauren

Heart thumbing like a big drum popping in and out of my body repetitively. Sweat dripping down from my bright red, pink face that is like a strawberry or a cherry. Long electric eels swerving around in my aching tummy just like a plate of jelly. Legs are shaking like a massive earthquake. I feel like I might throw up on accident  from all of this pressure being put on me. Teachers, parents and grandparents in the crowd. I feel like I might even faint in front of an audience and make a scene. 

Holly 

The whistle blows. My family and the rest of the crowd are cheering. I call out for the pass. The ball crosses over to me and I trap it. I smash it to my team mate further up the field. I sprit up the field, my legs shaking hard out like I’m in an earthquake. I’m right next to the goal. The ball rolls just n front of my boots. I look around for any snatches but it is safe. The goal is in position. I smash the ball and travels goes straight passed the goalie. A huge smile forms on my face. The crowd goes absolutely nuts. Even a spectator was cheering for me. I get jumped on all over by my team.   

Luke 

Thousands of people staring at me like spiders getting ready to pounce and bite me with their razor sharp fangs. Eels are racing and swerving through my stomach trying to escape and pounce out of my tummy. Glowing red checks, head throbbing, its like a volcano is in my mouth and wants to force lava to stream out. I’m going to explode. Grinding teeth and chattering legs.   

Carl 

I walked up on to the stage getting ready to say my part. I was biting my nails like a paper shredder. My legs were shaking like an earthquake and then I started saying my part but nothing came out. I tried again but still nothing came out. I finally said something but I forgot some parts. The teacher came and gave me a piece of paper so I read off that.  I came off the stage and I got a big round of applause. I sat down and listened to the rest of the celebration. 

Sheredon 

I walked on the black stage. Thousands of eyes peered at me and I feel my legs starting to shake wildly. There are butterflies in my stomach that made me want to throw up. My heart was pounding an infinity times per minutes. I felt as though my heart might escape my body. I still have butterflies in my stomach which is acting like a waterfall crumbling.